MotherShould? is a place to explore the complex experience of choosing, not choosing, or losing the chance to choose parenthood after the age of 35. As more and more women are having their first child when they are deemed “high risk,” more and more women are opting not to have children, and more and more options exist for women trying to conceive, the choice has become more deliberate and more confusing. If you are or have been on the fence, MotherShould? is the place for you.

What you will get here:

  • Thoughtful reflection by and about individuals who have made a choice to or not to have/adopt/foster children, or who have lost the chance to choose after the age of 35
  • Understanding that while we share common experiences, each person has her own individual circumstances
  • Links to relevant resources
  • Ideas to help navigate the choice–or lack of choice–to or not to have children
  • News we think you’ll find useful

What you will not get here:

  • Judgement like “you should have had a baby instead of gallivanting around Europe in your early thirties” or “a child needs two parents”
  • Bromides like “if it’s meant to be, it will happen” or “it will all work out in the end”
  • Didactic advice like “you’ll regret not having children–who’s going to take care of you when you are old?” or “do all the tests/don’t do any of the tests,” “hurry up–you’re running out of time”
  • Parenting tips

About the Editors

Catherine Savini

c q 1Having kids was not on my radar until I was deemed “high risk.” Observing friends with kids I had trouble understanding the draw, but I suspected there had to be something that I couldn’t see because none of my friends had just one. When I started asking  friends “why have kids?,” their answers were never very substantial or thoughtful. Probably they were just too tired or distracted to say anything articulate. MotherShould? is the website I wish existed when I was struggling with the baby question.


 Beverly Army Williams
Photo by Gale Zucker

Throughout my 20s and early 30s, I was content with being my family’s cool (child-free) aunt, but since marrying a man who would make an excellent father, my child-free life causes me to vacillate between regret and relief.

My current writing project is a multi-modal poetry cycle examining the complexities of my decisions–and sometimes lack of decisions–to not have children. I hold an MFA in creative writing from the University of New Mexico and teach writing at Westfield State University and work as a freelance editor, writing consultant, and grant writer. I blog at PoMoGolightly. My work on MotherShould? emerges from a desire to help younger women be thoughtful and not regretful when it comes to their consideration of the baby question.

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