Misogyny is at the Heart of Our High Maternal Death Rate

A recent story by ProPublica and NPR outlines the tragic and preventable death of NICU nurse Lauren Bloomstein only 20 hours after giving birth to her first child. Despite warning signs and her physician husband voicing alarm and questioning her plan of care, Lauren died of hemorrhagic strokes resulting from untreated HELLP syndrome. HELLP syndrome …

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The Blame and the Shame of Miscarriages

I had my first miscarriage when I was 37. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt so intensely special. I was proud of myself for getting pregnant  so easily after 35. Less than two months into the pregnancy, I started spotting, and when I went to get my HCG levels tested for a …

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A Millennial Interviews Her Mother About Having Kids

From the editors: MotherShould? is interested in how millennials weigh the decision whether or not to have children and/or when to have children. This interview by a 21-year-old college junior reveals how one millennial’s mother has shaped her thinking on having children. The interview also highlights the challenges of being part of the sandwich generation and …

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Some Facts About Fostering: An Interview with a Licensed Social Worker

Danielle Maloney, a Licensed Social Worker in Massachusetts, has been working in child welfare for twenty-eight years. MS: What do parents have to do to become foster parents? Danielle: There’s an application process. In Massachusetts you need to be at least 18 and have US legal status to become a foster parent. You may be …

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45 Makes Me Regret Not Having Kids

On January 21, I looked around me at the Hartford, CT Women’s March Rally, and I felt regret, deep like a splinter from an un-planed board. I was there with my friend Sarah and her 12-year-old daughter Ella. It occurred to me that by not having children, I deprived myself of the opportunity to raise …

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Why We’re Striking on March 8

This Wednesday, March 8, is International Women’s Day. As a show of solidarity for women’s rights and the rights of all gender-oppressed people, MotherShould? is joining the general strike. The right to choose whether or not to have children and to get the appropriate care that supports that choice is all-too-often unavailable to women around the world. This …

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Should I? I Could I?

Still in pain and bleeding from a traumatic miscarriage, still trying to understand what had happened, I had the overwhelming need to be a mother, to be pregnant. Something I’d never felt before. I put it down to hormones but the feeling, the need, lasted for months. My life revolved around it. From the age …

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Mourning a Miscarriage After an Unwanted Pregnancy

There was something about my period that wasn’t right. Having an IUD, it was usually much lighter than this. My womb felt emptier than usual. It didn’t take long to realize what was happening. After a few moments of denial, I finally allowed myself to accept that I was having a miscarriage. I was in …

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Queer, Disabled, and Childfree

In Portland in 1998 I felt my back clench and ache. I couldn’t focus on the words in my art history book. Phrases kept racing through my head with that same image of bulging. Expanding. Blowing up. I took a pregnancy test the day before and found out I was pregnant. That same day, there …

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