Should I? I Could I?

Still in pain and bleeding from a traumatic miscarriage, still trying to understand what had happened, I had the overwhelming need to be a mother, to be pregnant. Something I’d never felt before. I put it down to hormones but the feeling, the need, lasted for months. My life revolved around it. From the age …

Read more

Mourning a Miscarriage After an Unwanted Pregnancy

There was something about my period that wasn’t right. Having an IUD, it was usually much lighter than this. My womb felt emptier than usual. It didn’t take long to realize what was happening. After a few moments of denial, I finally allowed myself to accept that I was having a miscarriage. I was in …

Read more

Queer, Disabled, and Childfree

In Portland in 1998 I felt my back clench and ache. I couldn’t focus on the words in my art history book. Phrases kept racing through my head with that same image of bulging. Expanding. Blowing up. I took a pregnancy test the day before and found out I was pregnant. That same day, there …

Read more

We Won’t Be Erased

Part of MotherShould?’s project is to value the many paths women can now take thanks to: scientific advances in fertility treatments and birth control, laws that protect women’s right to abortion and that allow gay couples to marry and adopt, progressive social mores that make women comfortable choosing to be single moms or choosing not …

Read more

If You Knew You’d Get Divorced, Would You Still Have Kids?

If you’d asked me twenty years ago, whether or not I’d have children, the answer would have been an emphatic of course! From as far back as I can remember, I knew that I wanted to have children. Not just one or two, either– I wanted eight of them, preferably all boys. I inherited my …

Read more

The Childfree Choice: An Interview with The Baby Matrix author Laura Carroll

MS: We appreciate your focus on teaching people to actually reflect on whether or not to have children rather than just do it because it’s what people do! In the The Baby Matrix you talk about getting people to actually assess whether or not they will make good parents and you discuss Ellen Peck and …

Read more

A Time To Act

If, like we do, you feel deeply disturbed by the 2016 election results, we invite you to join us as we push back. We’re taking action, however small, to ensure that the threat to women, which is also a threat to the LGBTQ+ community, to people of color, to people with disabilities, to immigrants, to …

Read more

Depression or a Child?

Sheri McCord explores how long-term mental illness has impacted her decision-making around motherhood.  It was the early 90s, Kurt Cobain was on MTV Unplugged, and I was a teenager. I was hospitalized for overdosing on medication for the first of two times in my life. I met someone while in the hospital who was living …

Read more

Suddenly Uncertain: How My Post-divorce Love Makes Me Reconsider Motherhood

Adamantly childfree her whole life, this week’s writer finds herself considering motherhood at the age of 37.  I was a lifelong “I never want kids, ever” person until divorce at 35 nudged me into some unexpected indecision.  I didn’t think I’d ever be considering children, especially at this age.  I also didn’t know I’d find the …

Read more

MotherShould? is One!

One cold afternoon in 2013, we sat in our university’s Writing Center together. Catherine said, almost in passing, how she wished there had been a place where she could have read stories about how other smart women made their decisions about whether or not they wanted to have kids. We commiserated about how little baby ambivalence (what …

Read more