Suddenly Uncertain: How My Post-divorce Love Makes Me Reconsider Motherhood


Adamantly childfree her whole life, this week’s writer finds herself considering motherhood at the age of 37.  I was a lifelong “I never want kids, ever” person until divorce at 35 nudged me into some unexpected indecision.  I didn’t think I’d ever be considering children, especially at this age.  I also didn’t know I’d find the …

Read more

MotherShould? is One!


One cold afternoon in 2013, we sat in our university’s Writing Center together. Catherine said, almost in passing, how she wished there had been a place where she could have read stories about how other smart women made their decisions about whether or not they wanted to have kids. We commiserated about how little baby ambivalence (what …

Read more

I Choose My Husband Again, and Again, Despite Our Childlessness


From the Editors: Writer Sylvie Beauvais explores the complexity of remaining with a beloved partner who does not share a desire to parent. In June, I went sea kayaking in a bio-luminescent bay in Puerto Rico with my husband. We shared a two-seater kayak: he sat in the front of the boat and I sat in …

Read more

Love is a Choice: Adopting an Older Child


From the Editors: Writer Oceania Chase shares the real challenges of adopting an older child as a single woman.  It’s a beautiful sunny day and I’m desperately trying to hold on to my composure. My daughter is lying on the ground; repeatedly screaming at the top of her lungs “It’s not fair!” Her arms and legs are …

Read more

Playing Mom


From the Editors: In this essay, recent college graduate SJ Enloe reflects on how a 19-year age difference between her and her little brother causes her to think carefully about motherhood. “Mom, can I have some chocolate milk?” I stare at Isaac, who looks puzzled for a moment then giggles. “Sarah, can I have some …

Read more

Let’s Be Friends Part 2: Childfree Woman Loves Mom Friends and their Kids


A thing that made me sad: getting ditched by a friend I’d had for about five years because I’m childfree. It didn’t happen right away, and trust me, I understand that life post-kids is hectic. After the baby arrived, I’d visit with easily reheated meals, a little chocolate, and arms happy to hold the baby …

Read more

In the Waiting Room


From the editors: In this beautiful essay, Tara Parmiter, writer and writing instructor, explores the emotional landscape of infertility. The official term she used was “missed abortion.” Five minutes earlier we had been sitting in the scanning room, the technician gliding her ultrasound wand through the sticky gel on my abdomen and broadcasting grainy black …

Read more

Selfish, Careerist, Regretful? Not the Childfree Women I Know


In this season’s House of Cards there’s a memorable scene between first lady and VP candidate, Claire Underwood and the presidential opponent’s wife, Hannah. The two  women are sitting across from one another drinking coffee in the White House residence and although they are on opposing sides, they are finding common ground around gun control …

Read more

My Mother’s Day Wish: Being Childfree Accepted as a Cultural Norm


It was Mother’s Day, 2003. On the Sundays when I was at home, I attended the Episcopalian church where I was trying to rebuild my faith and connect to a spiritual community as I had as a kid. I was newly separated, working as an adjunct professor at a prison college program in the evenings …

Read more

MotherShould? Book Club: Let’s Talk about The Mare

The Mare

We’ve been chomping at the bit to discuss Mary Gaitskill’s novel The Mare in our inaugural book club discussion and have put together questions and resources to deepen our understanding of the novel as well as our understanding of women who have made child-related choices different than our own. Take a look, and please respond to …

Read more